If you’re like me you probably wish that every movie Hollywood churned out could be some kind of Harry Potter sequel. Also, you are probably embarrassingly stoked about this coming weekend. The first half of the epic finale, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) is coming out Thursday night at midnight and movie theaters everywhere will look like they belong in Hogsmeade. Last I read, there were over 23,000 sold out show times in the United States alone, so it might be hard to score tickets. Fortunately for me, I only need to worry about scoring one ticket. Who’s laughing now, all-of-my-friends-who-are-in-healthy-and-meaningful-relationships? Me, that’s who. Me and only me. Read more »
- Matt
This may or may not be an actual profile that I came across while perusing an online dating site. I wouldn’t fuck this chick with a rented dick, but hey, horses for courses. What was I doing browsing a dating site? Meh, confidence boosting mostly.
“I’m just a girl who enjoys having a good time! Looking for a MAN (NOT A BOY!) who can make the most of a night on the town or even just snuggling on the couch with ice cream and a movie. Money is not important to me, but I don’t want a guy who can’t afford to take care of me. Read more »
- Carlo
People only say that the eyes are the doorway to the soul because they’ve never actually walked through and stepped into a fresh pile of stupid.
- Matt
Being the pinnacle of superhuman manliness that I am, I never get sick (it also might have something to do with the fact that I spend my nights alone, huddled under blankets eating soup and watching Seems Like Old Times on Netflix). Unfortunately, we can’t all be so lucky. For most of you, it probably takes a lot of effort to stay in tip top shape and free of peasant germs.
Not getting sick doesn’t have to mean not being a cool kid, though. There are plenty of ways to stay healthy while still holding on to the hipster cred you’ve worked so hard to seem like you don’t really care about earning. Here are just a few:
1. Drink up. Drinking plenty of whiskey with a little lemon will keep you on top of your game (or curled up underneath a bench). If you don’t like plain whiskey, add some water. You know, to help balance the pH. Read more »
- Carlo
I don’t want to be a jerk about this but it’s got to be said. Stargate Universe is basically NBC’s Lost, only in space. The similarities are a little bit daunting. It’s practically begging for it.
For starters, the series begins shortly after a catastrophic event and follows an ensemble cast who find themselves stranded. (No, not on a mysterious island in the middle of the ocean—on a mysterious spacecraft in the middle of outer space… Totally different.)
- Matt
With the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” likely upon us, I think it’s important that we begin to look at how to treat all people fairly and with equal respect not just in the military, but in all facets of our society. In order to truly empathize with someone who is different from yourself, you have to be willing to step inside their skin and think from their perspective.
So, in the spirit of unity, I decided to take a look at what life would be like for me if I were a homosexual man. Of course, I’d be a shallow, slutty gay guy, so it wasn’t that difficult to figure out. Basically I just thought about the dudes I’d be into getting hot and heavy with, and then made a short list. Here it is: Read more »
- Carlo
Clean the pumpkin guts out from under your fingernails. It’s November now and it’s finally getting cold proper in NYC. Which means it’s time for cool jackets, hot whiskey and skies that look like they belong in Morrissey songs. What more could you possibly need?
Pfft. See, you don’t know. That’s why I made this list for your brain:
1. Netflix Instant. The entire Battlestar Galactica series is up now. You don’t even have to get off the couch and switch out DVDs to keep this marathon of over-indulgence and self-disgust going strong. Why do you not frakking have this already? Are you still using Blockbuster? Are you a Cylon?
- Matt
