THE CHEAP THRILLER /////

    By APNWLNS Viagra online

    1. Blog

      Ax Men is probably the best show your grandparents are watching, and you’ll just have to take my word on this, because if you call to confirm you’re gonna end up in a 45min conversation about salt substitutes. Last night’s episode, however, was severely lacking in the single best part of the show: Shelby Stanga.

      Let me first give you some background on this little piece of programming brilliance in case you’re unfamiliar. Ax Men is a reality show on the History channel (formerly a network dedicated entirely to Hitler biographies) about loggers all over the country, and their harrowing (this word sounds a lot like heroin, which coincidentally is what a lot of these guys look like they just smoked out of an empty Pepsi can) adventures in the industry. The episodes are usually broken up to follow storylines focused on 6 different crews: Rygaard, Papac, Pihl, S&S/Collins (this is two crews competing against each other on the Suwanee River), Browning and Swamp Man a.k.a Shelby Stanga and his trusted dog Piss Willy.

      sumbitch NO SWAMPMAN, SHELBY LEFT BEHIND

      Shelby Stanga is BY FAR the most interesting character on the show. A native of the New Orleans swamps, Shelby can usually be found concocting homemade explosives and shooting his pistol unnecessarily. His dog Piss Willy (who for weeks I thought was named PRINCE Willy) is apparently tasked with keeping Shelby safe from alligators and trying not to die of heartworms. The love that exists between these two often straddles the line between heartwarming and discomforting.

      Unfortunately Shelby was nowhere to be found on last night’s episode. Last night was completely dedicated to all the other yokels that inhabit the various logging work sites and hope for nothing more than the opportunity to yell at each other and break for a nutritious lunch of bologna and Pringles on Wonder bread. On the Rygaard site, it was business as usual. Craig (old man) hates Dave (young man) and will stop at nothing to get him fired. Only problem is, Craig’s son Gabe is the boss, and for whatever reason (resentment issues from a deprived childhood, I imagine) Gabe continually takes Dave’s side. Last night Dave almost got some people killed when his slow pace caused a massive log to go tumbling down the hillside, but whatevs. He just chuckled it off as Craig sat back, arms crossed, and mumbled something about oat bran and interracial marriage.

      On the Papac site, an old face resurfaced: Joe, the barely intelligible, overly confident lovechild of Lenny (Of Mice and Men reference) and Baby Huey. After previously walking off the site due to an altercation with his supervisor, Joe returned and immediately took it upon himself to aggressively seek a promotion. Of course, the job he’s gunning for is occupied by recently promoted Mike “Coatsy” Coats, who, by nature of the fact that he’s only mildly mentally challenged, is far better suited and qualified for the position. Joe does a lot of chest pounding, Coatsy calls him “dumb,” Joe’s childlike feelings are hurt: Coatsy wins.

      coatsywins NO SWAMPMAN, SHELBY LEFT BEHIND

      Down on the Suwanee River, things aren’t looking good for S&S Logging. After his son assaulted him with a baseball cap last week, Jimmy decides to go it alone. Unfortunately, he can’t seem to find any logs, which is odd since Collins Logging ends up finding like 4 big ones in a row. Obviously Jimmy calls foul play and accuses the Collins boys of stealing logs that he previously marked as his own. He doesn’t seem to care that much, though, considering he essentially just yells this accusation from a passing boat and doesn’t bother to follow-up. Maybe it’s just me, but if two fat dudes stole like $10,000 worth of my shit, I wouldn’t just nonchalantly accost them from a moving pontoon boat. The Collins boys, Joe (no, not the moron lovechild one, the fat ponytail one) and Patrick “Pond Bear” Swilley, eventually come to the conclusion that Jimmy is legally insane, and should just sit back in a rocking chair and collect disability payments from the government. After all, “round here, if you’re that crazy, you don’t have to work!”

      Nothing too interesting going on up at the Pihl work site. They got a new “greenhorn” to replace that firefighter chick who quit, and everyone has settled into teasing him like those clever bullies on South Park. Just when the pathetic greenhorn, now referred to as “Butters” thinks the constant hazing can’t get any worse, though, he proves to be the only guy on the site small enough to crawl inside a piece of heavy machinery and screw in some lug nuts. Reluctant high-fives all around!

      By the end of the episode, not much had changed. Craig still hates Dave, Joe proved himself to be a complete moron, Jimmy is a bitter drunk who will die alone and Swilley just wants to party. BUT. WHERE. WAS. SHELBY. STANGA!? The commercials promised me Shelby Stanga driving a monster truck with over-sized pontoon wheels, shouting some crazy Cajun nonsense! Are Piss Willy’s heartworms cured? Did his friend’s ribs heal? Does he own a pair of shoes? These are the questions I hope will be answered on the next exciting episode of Ax Men, which, thanks to Super Bowl fucking XLV, will not air until 2/13.

      shelboat NO SWAMPMAN, SHELBY LEFT BEHIND

      Comments

      1. Love this post. You know how much I love Shelby – “YOU GOT A GOOD ONE PAW PAW!”

      2. “you got enough money to buy you a pistol and a pocket knife, man!”

      3. “it don’t take much money for me to live. just damn bullets and gas, ya know? and salt and pepper.” – Shelby Stanga

      4. sheby is one crazy motherfunker his laugh kills me. would like to go out drinking with him

      5. This guy is totally full of bull.”Been snakebit 700 or 800 times”. “I dont feed my dog nuthin;” drives a boat like a maniac,he is totally hamming it up for the cameras,no doubt. Everything he does is strictly for showing his ass. He isnt taken seriously by any locals who know him. People in other parts of the country may think he is a “bare foot cajun swamp man”. Real cajuns arent foolish idiots hamming it up.He does these risky things trying to get you to think he is crazy. Theres a difference between crazy and stupid.

      6. he certainly isn’t winning any spelling bees, but we watch this show to be entertained, don’t we?

      7. Hurdy Gurdy, on May 9th, 2011 at 4:11 am

        “Woohee! Piss Willy, we gonna have us some turtle soup tonight!”

      8. the guy who wrote this is a fart sucking homo

      9. me & my husband , was wondering when new episodes of shelby was coming on ? what channel on direct t.v. and what time and when? we havent been able to find him. please send to my e-mail! Thanks Dawn

      10. Dawn, the new season will probably start in Dec. or Jan. and on DirectTV History channel should be 269.

      11. Pond Bear piss willy, on January 8th, 2012 at 7:58 am

        Jimmy is a drunk Homo who likes Pond bear Swilly and Piss Wiily

      12. Pond Bear piss willy, on January 8th, 2012 at 7:58 am

        pcefghhweeefjiw’CJM’PFJVNHWECVFWEJIKWcidcjcvjDJCVcdvILDVJDH[odvh[ODVHDVH
        pOND bEAR WILLT pISS wILLY

      13. looks like someone’s excited for the season premiere.

      14. Shelby SUCKS take him off the show NOW please

      15. i would watch a show with just shelby going crazy i dont care about any of the other shit or even if he is putting a show on you got to admit it is entertaining

      16. Shelby is still my favorite. Hamming for cameras or not!!!

      17. I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i?m glad to exhibit that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I so much indubitably will make sure to don?t disregard this site and provides it a glance regularly.

      18. Port Angeles Guy, on March 25th, 2012 at 4:43 pm

        Mike “Coatsy” Coats was recently arrested in Port Angles for giving a guy a BJ in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

      19. cooperhead,tn,, on April 8th, 2012 at 7:49 pm

        shelbys cool as hell! Tuff ole sob id get some logs and drank a few with him! HERE WE GOOOO! LOL

      20. cooperhead,tn,, on April 8th, 2012 at 7:54 pm

        copperhead bit yes rattlesnakes bit yep not cottonmouth yet but lookin 4ward to it lol HERE WE GO!

      21. The guy who wrote this article likes to suck nuts in his throat like a golf ball washer.

      22. is that you, Pond Bear??

      23. shelby is the mac daddy!

      24. shelby makes the other ax men cast ,look like a jackass in the ky. derby .

      25. Hey Joe Collins can I smell your armpits….and pump my mouth with a pine cone.

      26. hell yea ….this is swampy jr…………
        best show on tv…..

      27. SHELBY ROCKS, on May 20th, 2012 at 9:24 pm

        SHELBY IS THE SHIT!!!! HERE WE GO!! OHHH MAN!!!

      28. uall need to quit fucking with shelby he makes the show and if u think hes not bad go mess with the man.capt tom

      29. shelby is a real all american superhero,would love to pick logs with the guy,keep it up shelby.

      30. Shelby stanga is a hero to swampers like my self. I fish that ponchartrane every summer and the mity Ms also. Id love to run into him on that lake one day and have a cold brew with him and tell em where all them logs are ive found when that Ms was at 8.6 ft. Give um hell shelby!!!! Jongle dea’moi moname!!!!!

      31. Piss willy and Shelby Stanga are the most interesting characters on the Show. Craig Rygaard is such a big sissy, he is always causing trouble for people then hiding behind the rest of the crew. Some day someone is going to forget he’s an old man and clean his clock. My advice Craig stop being such a drama queen put on your big girl panties, and work.I feel sorry for Craig’s son to put up with such juvenile activity from his father. Father’s are supposed to set a good example for their son’s not try to be a diva. To bad Craig does not get fired.

      32. shelby lover, on January 7th, 2013 at 1:40 am

        I love Shelby! He needs his own show with him and his cuzs..PAW PAW!

      33. goooooooooooooo shelby he is as cajun as they get and bucnch of us down here in south louisiana is just as crazy take everyone else off and give him his own show ahhheeeee

      34. Which one looked as if he had been, ” their harrowing (this word sounds a lot like heroin, which coincidentally is what a lot of these guys look like they just smoked out of an empty Pepsi can) “? You sound like a Northern Snob who knows nothing about where the furniture your overly inflated behind sits on. Say thank you, to where the dirty work comes from and mind your dainty manners, you douche bag

      35. And while you are at it, you Northern Sissy SOB, the next time your friend boy wants an alligator hand bag, thank the boys who go out and catch them. You common SOB.

      36. Shelby and Belinda are the stars of that show. When those other northern loggers come on i go and wash dishes or clean my bathroom or simething….what a waste of time…i would rather watch Shelby and i think he needs his own show and should get paid as well as swamp people and duck dynasty stars get paid…he works a hell of a lot harder than they do.

      37. This is what happens when you bang your cousins, kids

      38. What happened to shelby? He wasn,t. On to night.I heard he died. Then I heard his wife donna died. Best damn show on tv. Beleave it or not he puts me in mind of my husband who died at 42. Shelby I sure hope you,re ok

      39. I love Shelby! I look forward to watching him on tv. He is very entertaining and he keeps me laughing. I’ve never seen someone as crazy as he is. I loved seeing his wife on his show. Why isn’t she on his new show? Shelby keep it coming!

      40. Shelby Stanga, I Love your show,and when will your show be back on TV??? Man I MISS YOUR SHOW SO BAD!!! NOW THE SHELBY STANGA SWAMP MAN SHOW IS REALLY ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!! WHERE DID YOU GO SHELBY STANGA I MISS YOUR SHOW SO BADLY!!!!!! PLEASE COME BACK TO TV!!!!!!!!!!!

      41. Coatsy is all show, no go. Big mouth, no cock girlish wanker. SHE can not do any mans job. Retarded micro-penis.
        World needs more swamp mans!

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