Later, they refused even to speak to him after someone pointed out that doing so would technically violate the Prime Directive.
- Matt
April 7th, 2010 | Movies
Warner Bros. Exec:
Alright boys, hit me. And this had better not be another Lord of the Rings: Part 4 pitch.
Writer:
Yes sir. So, we were all just playing Xbox over here and we got this great idea to get together a bunch of guys from that movie DragonHeart and make a new version of, get ready… Clash of the Effing Titans!
Warner Bros. Exec:
…Are you drunk right now?
Writer:
A little. Okay, okay, so when you think of Clash of the Titans, what do you think of? The charm and timelessness of the stop motion sequences in the original, right? Well, what’s more charming and timeless right now than 3D?
WB Exec:
I’m listening… Read more »
- Matt
If you watched the Oscars on Sunday night then you already know that The Hurt Locker dominated the awards show, taking away a total of six awards. Hollywood blockbuster, Avatar did not win best picture but fittingly brought home the awards for Cinematography, Art Direction & Visual Effects. These results, which to most people would seem largely agreeable, have left U2 fans around the world scratching their heads and wondering, “Oy, what about Bono?”
It’s true, lead singer/humanitarian Paul Hewson (AKA “Bono”) did not receive a single Academy Award on Sunday night. “What’s worse,” comments one particularly disgruntled fan (Annie_CatDubh) “is that he wasn’t even nominated in the first place!” In a later post she added, “WTF!!!” Read more »
- Matt
Now that the season finale of Jersey Shore has come and gone, and the series premiere of Check It Out! w/ Dr. Steve Brule is not yet upon us, I feel a serious emptiness in my gutty region. In thinking of how to pass the in-between time, I’ve come to two realizations: one being that I truly need to visit a gastroenterologist and the other being that the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon Game is very outdated. I’ve taken it upon myself to invent a new, similar game which will surely sweep the nation with the alacrity of viral internet videos and the staying power of genital herpes. I give you: “The 4 Degrees of Matthew McConaughey’s Shitty Romantic Comedy Game” (or “4 Degrees of McConadon!”, for short). Read more »
- Carlo
If you’ve never received an @reply from Bixby Snyder, then you may not be interested in this blog (but consider researching that reference).
I must admit that as a child, I was not a huge fan of Paul Verhoeven’s work. I mean, what child not reared in an East German S&M den would be? My prudish upbringing aside, though, there’s no denying he had an impressive run from ’87 to ’92 with Robocop, Total Recall and Basic Instinct, and along with my chest hair, my appreciation for Verhoeven films has grown over the years. That is to say, slowly and disproportionately. Of course, this blog isn’t about Paul Verhoeven (sorry, Dieter), so perhaps I should get to the point.
Of the three aforementioned classics, I think my heart belongs mostly to Robocop. There are many and varied reasons for this (not the least of which involves a man’s body being jellified by toxic waste and then liquefied by a car), but mostly I think it’s the fact that as a kid, all my heroes were cops (See, Martin Riggs; See also, John McClane; See also, Max Rockatansky). So even though Peter Weller was basically a blonde Mark Harmon and he always looked like he was wearing lip gloss, I was predisposed to think he was a badass. Read more »
- Carlo
So, Zooey Deschanel (Elf, She & Him, 500 Days Of Summer) got hitched to chart-topping indie lord, Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie) and yes, that really did happened.
Anyway, thanks to the biproducts from miracles of technology and journalism, we bring you an alleged transcript from the couple’s ceremony featuring a portion from Gibbard’s vows:
BG: There is a powerful pull that compels me to grow closer to you at every instance of our eyes meeting whether its under a crisp atmosphere of cooling air or facing the harshest of solar flares…
(Enter arpeggiated guitar part & choppy drum beat) Read more »
- Matt
I’ve been hearing talk about a new Fletch movie for a while now, and the prospect has always been near and dear to my heart. I suppose I feel that if the corpse of Irwin Fletcher were to be revived, Chevy Chase would realize how meta-awesome he is and do however much coke is necessary to re-animate his cool. His last major studio outing was Zoom: Academy for Superheroes. Seriously, Chevy? Seriously? You were once the guy who made Deal of the Century and Seems Like Old Times bearable to watch.
Anyway, that’s a topic for another blog, and don’t think you won’t get yours too, Eddie. My point here is that when they began talking about making Fletch Won, the name attached to star in the title role was an obvious choice: Ryan Reynolds. Read more »
- Carlo
February 22nd, 2009 | Movies
In honor of the the 81st Academy Awards, I wanted to give my pick for which film will win Best Picture. I haven’t seen any of them, but I don’t see how that makes me any less qualified to choose.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
When a middle-class family moves from San Francisco to a small town in Iowa, Anne-Louise, a precocious 9-year old, realizes that her favorite stuffed animal, Benjamin Button, has been lost in the move. When Patrick, the patriarch of the clan, recommends to Anne-Louise that perhaps it is time for her to set aside childish things like stuffed animals and begin her pre-pubescent tweenie years, she throws a fit and reveals to Holly, the mother, that Patrick had been carrying on a torrid affair with the family babysitter, and this was the reason the family was forced to move to Iowa (when Patrick tried to break it off with the babysitter, she threatened to go public, and so he was forced to take a position in Iowa with his company to avoid destroying his family. Read more »
- Carlo
