The last episode of True Blood season four, “And When I Die” aired last night. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t read this. Unless you hate surprises and love ruining endings.
Jesus makes Laffayette breakfast but he doesn’t know Marnie’s kicking around in his brain. Which is really creepy when you think about it because that means that Marnie slept in Lafayette’s body all night, Tauntaun-style. Gross. Anyway, Jesus figures out it’s not Lafayette and he gets his hand stabbed to the table.
Read more »
- Matt
(0) COMMENTS
Hurricane Irene came and went, the power stayed on and I was able to catch episode ten of True Blood season four, “Burning Down The House.” Everybody’s drawing lines or forgiving each other, and sometimes a little bit of both…
Last time we saw the gang all hell was breaking loose. It still is. Marnonia is mind-controlling vampires, Eric is trying to kill Bill, and Roy is still a total dick. Eventually Eric uses his berzerker vampire strength and he gets Bill in his clutches, ready to stake the shit out of him. But just before he can go through with it, Sookie panics and more crazy fairy light shoots out of her and (voila!) breaks the spell on Eric, returning his murder-machine memories. Finally.
Read more »
- Matt
(0) COMMENTS
Bill Murray and Bill Murray walk in to a bar. One of these Bill Murrays is Bill Murray Then and the other Bill Murray is Bill Murray Now. Both want to order a drink. It’s a tough one, but if you’re the bartender how do you decide whose drink order you take first? Which Bill Murray is more awesome than the other Bill Murray? Let’s mark the cut-off point at Rushmore.
Things to consider:
• Bill Murray Then was on SNL before it got lazy.
• Bill Murray Now is in just about every Wes Anderson movie.
• Bill Murray Then was in Groundhog Day AND Scrooged.
• Get Low looks very awesome.
• Doctor Peter Venkman.
• Bill Murray Now has range. And a kick-ass beard.
I realize I’m probably in the minority on this one but Bill Murray Now gets my vote. Bill Murray Now has to deal with living up to the awesomeness of Bill Murray Then and he totally nails it. And makes it look way easy.
- Matt
(0) COMMENTS
The 80′s were a dangerous time for everyone, especially if you were a teenager in the suburbs. Monsters were FUCKING. EVERYWHERE. Since we all know history repeats itself, it might be a good idea to start thinking about who your toughest adversary would be should we find ourselves in the midst of another tiny monster outbreak.
Sure, Gremlins start off as cute little mogwai, but it’s only a matter of time before you drop yours in the toilet and all the offspring start raiding the fridge for a midnight snack. Then you’ve got Critters, which are tiny, yes, but have razor sharp teeth and projectile quills containing a neurotoxin. These little bastards can definitely fuck you up pretty bad, but what if they were to turn on each other. Who would win?
Let’s look at the facts:
• Gremlins are incredibly mischievous and can quickly multiply.
• Critters can combine into a giant Critter to cause more damage.
• Gremlins and Critters both have razor sharp teeth, but Gremlins’ arms and legs are much longer (the better to grab at you with).
• While Gremlins have to avoid direct sunlight, Critters are able to attack at any time of day.
This is a tough one, but as a betting man, I’m putting my money on the Critters. How would you place your bets? Leave a comment below!
- Carlo
(1) COMMENT
Let’s say Michael Cera had a really bad night, got broken up with, his girlfriend said some mean stuff to him that made him sad. He’s wandering around Hollywood with all this pain and he runs into Jesse Eisenberg. Who is surrounded by babes and has a big gold chain on and makes a joke about Michael Cera looking like a bird lady. Which of these geeky Hollywood hunks would make it to the red carpet?
Things to consider:
• Eisenberg has sort of a wrestler’s muscle body.
• Cera was on Arrested Development.
• According to IMDB Juno grossed $46,574,943 more than The Social Network.
• According to above photo, Eisenberg can grow facial hair.
• Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World.
To be honest I don’t think the fight is over physical matter. I think these two get compared a lot and although I understand why, I think they’re totally different. I think the competition is more of “Who would I want to hang out with more?” And for that my money is on Cera.
Who is your pick? Who’s back do you got?
- Rob
(2) COMMENTS
Gawaht???? Did 2001 never happen? Are we in a time warp? This is too obvious. I will not be watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes in theatres this weekend. No sir… but maybe on cable.
Read more »
- Rob
(0) COMMENTS
Let’s say a great white shark got drunk and swam into a semi-freshwater river (like that shark Jaws is based on) and that river was infested with a school of piranha. Which one(s) would be swimming out again?
Things to consider:
• The shark is the world’s oldest killing machine.
• Piranhas have strength in numbers. (If but one piranha survives, the shark still loses.)
• Piranhas have home team advantage.
• The shark is a shark.
My money’s on the shark. But then again, my money is always on the shark.
Agree? Disagree? Middle-gree?
- Matt
(5) COMMENTS
It’s Friday and so it’s time again for me to tear apart a movie I haven’t seen and don’t plan on ever seeing without a perfect storm combination of my cable service provider’s direct intervention and an immobilizing hangover. Tearing these things up is not a tough job, as it’s generally pretty easy to find some floating garbage that Hollywood has sent our way, but man oh man, it’s hardly ever this easy…
Read more »
- Matt
(0) COMMENTS
In case you were wondering, no, I’m not going to the movies this weekend. But it’s not because the theaters are only showing ridiculous movies I don’t want to see. This time they are showing a ridiculous movie that I actually do kind of want to see.
Sucker Punch is basically about a young girl living in the dream world of her imagination in order to escape the harshness of her reality. It is also about swordfights, explosions, high kicks in skirts and a dragon. Read more »
- Matt
(0) COMMENTS
